It seem to shake this feeling.It seems I always put more into my friendships than others do-or at least they do for a while and then it seems to fade on the other person's part.Why is this?

At the end of the day there was something about the friendship I've posted about which made me happy when it was good,so why don't I direct my efforts towards getting it back? Yes,I did send a Christmas card.No response.However,even when things were good,my friend used to say that she was glad I made the effort because left to her own devices,she wouldn't and then she enjoyed it when we spent time together.After that ,she became ill etc.

Thinking more about it ,I don't think I handled it very well when she was ill.She came to see the friendship as a burden,a pressure.She started to tell lies and make excuses.I hate being lied to.When she did this I became angry,frustrated and of course that made her tell more lies,make more excues to get out of it.It drove her further away.

Mkae no mistake,she was horrible to me when she broke off contact.I had given her a great deal of practical and emotional support when she wanted it and I don't think I deserved how she behaved towards me. however,did she feel under such pressure in the friendship that she had to be horrible to me to get out of it.Yes,I think she did. She was ill,and found the pressure of what most of us would see as a normal close friendship,too much.She said she couldn't deal with people having "expectations" of her.She could only think of herself,only wanted a relationship that met her needs at that time.Then ,she was ill.

Some months have passed now since we last spoke.How do I contact her/try to win her trust back again? It's quite possible (if she views me as pressure)that she won't pick the phone up etc if I try to ring.

Am i doing the right thing for me? The way I look at it, what do I have to lose? We're not in touch anyway and I'd like to try.