Sometime people don't or aren't always aware of what they are doing so they don't always know how they are affecting other people. Sometime what is meant to be venting out their problem may turn into something else that is not intended on their part. She may have felt that you were attacking her in many ways. She may have felt hurt by what you had said to her without realizing her action and she said things out of anger.

Is it possible that the environment she grew up in where everyone complains all the time as a way to talk and this all normal? She may not realize how this affect other people? Or is possible that you and her may have completely misunderstood both intention? Maybe she meant to explain how her day went or how frustrated the holiday is without realizing how it came out in contexts? Perhaps you may have unintentionally snapped at her due to something you are going through without realizing it?

Try taking a deep breathe and relax. Ask yourself what you are willing to live with and what your not willing to live with? Once you know that answer then the rest will be easy. You can start out by saying! I really feel bad about what you said because I felt that you had attack my character because of something that I had said to you that had unintentionally upset you. I acted out in good faith with good intention when I suggestewhatT workbook it was just suggesting and you don't follow my suggesting but I really value our friendship. Right now I am really going through some things and I feel like you are not there for me like I am there for. I feel like you are complaining about everything every time we hang out and it is taking a toll on me. I can't take anymore of the complaining right now because i just have too much going on. Have you thought of asking someone else how they are feeling and how you might be able to help them so that you can take a break from your problem? I may have said something out anger and frustration without realizing it but we need come to some kind of mutual agreement about this problem.

This way your not attacking her but the problem. I too have the same problem myself. I try to make sure that I take time out to ask other people how they are doing and how I might be able to help? Sometime people don't realized what they are doing or how their action may affected other people. I hope this help you out and known that these are only suggesting and you don't have to do anything that make you feel uncomfortable.