It sounds like you aren't being fulfilled in some aspect of your life. Do you feeling like your life is lacking meaning for you?

It might help if you were volunteering (besides being a nurse). Something to help others like Habitat for Humanity or helping adults learn to read?

On the other hand, (it might sound silly or frivolous) maybe you need to do something that is just for YOU. It could be a hobby or a rescue pet, maybe. A new adventure for you (road trip, sky diving, rock climbing, kick boxing).

I'm sorry you are feeling so despondent and disconnected. I hope you find something that joyously grounds you.