I do sympathize with the struggle. When I was on disability, my mother once said something about "Hopefully one of these days, you can get to where you're contributing to society, rather than taking from it." (My psychologist said she'd sure like to kick my mother for saying that.) The only reason I'm not now on disability was that I married a man who can support me. SSDI, I never did qualify for because I didn't work enough hours before becoming disabled. SSI, I don't qualify for anymore because hubby makes too much money. Fortunately, I'm covered on his health insurance.

Twice, I've tried to go through Vocational Rehabilitation and get back to work, but I failed both times, and they said I wasn't employable. I wonder sometimes what I actually did to improve my life. If it weren't for my husband, I'd still be in the same place I was. So I didn't really do anything to better myself. I just got lucky.

So yes, I do get what you're feeling.