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Mar 30, 2018, 02:04 PM
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Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,406
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I don't know what to say. I'm just struggling. The thing is, it feels like the struggle has purpose...and if I wasn't struggling, I wouldn't be moving forward. So, there's that. But at the same time, there's all this internal judgment for struggling at all. For needing things. For needing people. For needing sleep. For needing a break. I dunno, for needing to pee.
I feel like other people function at such high levels and make it look so easy. I know I'm asking a lot of myself, but it doesn't feel easy. It's very difficult.
Sigh...I just feel like I'm not doing things right. Or I'm insufficient. Or not smart enough. I don't know. I hate myself.
Seesaw
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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?
Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.
Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien
Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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