Hello,

I would like to ask about my disinclination problem and some others; but I would like to give some specific information about my background so that it may help you to understand better.

I have been having psychotherapy for nearly two years and I started with my worst problems which are related to lack of self-confidence and anti-sociality. My first psychotherapist diagnosed me with having something like "social phobia"; but, honestly, I don't know the exact name of it. If it is needed to be specific, I was not able to communicate with people properly. I mean, I couldn't make eye contact, I was getting panicked during the conversation because I was afraid of telling something wrong such as things that may be misunderstood in a way that things I told may hurt someone or in a way that things I told may not reflect my thoughts correctly. I was also not able to stand for my own rights since I was afraid of being harmed by people. In addition to these two, I was thinking what people think about me excessively and my assumptions were totally blocking me in a way that if people think that I am not able to do something, I think that I am not succesful or talented enough to do it, even if I know that I am or in a way that, for example, if others think that I am a liar, I think I am a liar even if I know that I am not. Happily, I have overcome the most parts of them; so I am generally able to communicate with others properly, I can mostly stand and fight for my own rights if I think it is needed and generally, I can ignore all these assumptions which are about what people think or going to think about me. Of course, there are still times that I feel weak; but, this happens to everyone; so, that's tolerable.

I also have been on medication. I have used Citol 20mg for a month and Citol 40mg for nearly eight months in case you need to know. Currently, I am not using a medicine regulary; but my psychotherapist gave me Atranax in case I need to use due to my sleeping problems.

However, I still have some problems which makes me a little bit nervous and I would like to explain them clause-by-clause:

- I have a disinclination problem. Actually, there is a term called as "anhedonia" but I am not sure about using it since I don't know if it fits in my case. Like every other people, I also have dreams and goals in my life; however, even if I want something to be done or want to have something too much such as becoming a good electric guitar player, I don't want to make an effort. I am currently studying at a university, knowing that these years are the most important ones for my future life, I don't want to study formy exams and consequently, I get low grades. Honestly, I would like to study at a different department such as computer engineering; but I also love my current department which is mechanical engineering. Briefly, this problem will lead to that I am going to be a useless person and have economical and other problems in my future.

- I am addicted to the Internet, especially YouTube. I cannot balance having fun and my daily routines. I also really love playing video games but when I install them on my PC, I cannot help myself with playing them for long hours; so I don't have any games on my computer right now. However, I really would like to have some and play them while keeping the balance between entertainment and my daily activities.

- I have sleeping problems. I am currently staying in a dormitory with two roommates and I generally sleep late at night like 02.00 AM. My roommates also sleep late at night and even if I try to sleep early, I cannot since my roommates make noises despite I have warned them several times before. Actually, I am not able to sleep early even when I am at my family's home, not because of the noise, just because I don't have a regular sleeping period and sometimes I think about my past or things that I regret etc.

- I am really dilatory and I procrastinate too much. Actually these two can be considered to be related to the first clause. I have read about them too much and I am aware of the consequences; but it doesn't fear me too much.

I am asking for help for all these problems.

Thanks for reading.😊