Quote:
Originally Posted by ReptileInYourHead
It’s your choice lanza, and when we say that your desire to slip away into death is, let’s say, not the best path, we, at least I, don’t do it for us. It’s not to save us the grief of losing you from these forums(though you would be greatly missed). We voice our concerns because we fear you may not be thinking straight, or the mental illness itself has taken over your senses.
I can appreciate your sentiment towards your ‘solution’, it’s ultimately up to you and we must respect that, but your idea of this fairytale ending, a neat and tidy demise where no one gets hurt and everyone is happy seems to me...unrealistic.
I hope you find peace lanza, whatever form it takes. We’re just not as excited about it as you.  |
I thank you Reptile
for sharing. I get it, I really do. You make a very good point and I agree that the only one I am saving from grief of my absence in any forum or other form of presence is me. Thank you for respecting my idea. I'm not trying to get a point across, or prove anything, punish anyone or rebel...just being true to me, not to be contrary and indifferent. I fully understand that what I said &, how I feel comes come across as incoherent garble, the rantings of a madwoman, and yes, I'm depressed beyond my own comprehension but I've never felt more sane or in control than I do now.
Whether any one cared or not had nothing to do with me posting. Just needed a "safe" place to voice my heart, how I plan to cope with this nightmare and what would make me happy. It's clear that what I shared is very disturbing to the reader (no emotional attachment and justifiably so) but for me, it is a sound solution and I believe that fairy tales do come true. Misguided? no, sadly mistaken? yes.
Whether any one cared or not had nothing to do with me posting. Having said all of this, I apologize to those that were bothered by what I posted and sorely regret having done so.