It has been soooooooooo helpful to talk this out. For a few days my energy has been stuck. Now I feel a bit free. Thank you, everyone. The situation is sad but I feel more prepared to face it honestly. From discussion here I see that it is a complicated relationship and I should not expect too much from it. It will also be sad to end the friendship after a long life of being friends...but if that is the outcome I will try to accept it.

I think friendship needs respect and I am going to try to remember that above all else.