Quote:
Originally Posted by prefabsprout
I think adjusting expectations seems sensible rather than abandoning the friendship.
Sometimes we just have to accept we aren't going to change people and they likely won't change themselves either. Sounds like your friend has coped with quite a lot recently (loss of parent, marriage problems) and your description of how she has lost her spark is sad, she must be aware of this on some level even if she does not admit it and is projecting how she feels onto others.
I respect your loyalty to her and maybe things will settle in the future into a happier friendship again. I hope so!
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Thanks. These are not recent developments. It's been over three years since her mother passed on. Her marital problems have been ongoing for decades and decades. On a happier note she has a new lovely granddaughter, and there are other positive developments in her life. Our relationship is structured so that she doesn't feel she needs to ask how I am doing when she emails or sends a card. I'm sure if I wait until things settle into a happier future we will both be dead.
It's not good to be too accommodating to others. It just reinforces their bad behavior. Having said all that, I won't abandon her.
I haven't taken such a strong and close look at this friend until writing this thread and it has revealed a lot. Maybe this week I reached the tipping point.