So I’ve noticed recently that I e been having a lot of fleeting paranoid thoughts. I’ve been vacillating wildly between moods but these thoughts have seemed to remain constant, to varying degrees of intensity. For example, when I was mixed in February and under a lot of stress, I believed that my job was tracking me through the cameras and my key card to see when I arrived and left and punish me for it (even though I am allowed to leave as I please on my prep time). I also believed that if I got pulled over, the officer would peg me as high and arrest me. These were intense thoughts when I was unwell but faded as I became hypomanic.

However now I am realizing I am still having paranaoid thoughts, they just don’t bother me. Like today, I put my food down at a fast food restaurant and went to go get a fork and knife. I thought “maybe someone will poison my food” but dismissed it. Then my roll tasted bitter and I again thought it was poisoned, but didn’t care.

I’ve been looking behind me a lot, thinking someone’s following me and is about to attack me. I also feel like tonight the man I’ve been seeing is going to steal my things. I have no reason to believe this at all. He’s a very kind man, but truth is I’ve only been talking to him a month and anything’s possible.

Does anyone else have paranoid thoughts like this? They don’t really bother me because I’m able to dismiss them right away (in my current mood state anyway) but I wonder if this is just going to be my life now.