I can relate a lot to this post.

I spoke to my mother recently. She sent me an insult meant as a compliment (you lost weight, therefore, we raised you right and you have nothing to complain about....). Toxic. But I accepted it anyway, just because I'm desperate for her attention/approval, and felt my dignity disappear....

It's always a surprise to realize the extent of my mother's ignorance, lack of logic, and toxicity. Like I was dreaming.