Yes, I understand your description. True depression for me is a horrifying, dangerous state of being. And frankly, I did not want to take the chance that the Lamictal might send me into a real depression. BUT I have to say that even while inside of a severe depression (and the anxiety that usually accompanies it) I do function. I take care of what needs to be taken care of and most likely no one would even know I'm depressed unless I disclosed it.

What I've been calling a "mild depression" is a feeling of blah, a degree of hopelessness, drudgery, a lack of inspiration...an absence of meaningful sound and color....an absence of meaning, in general. I cannot - won't - live like that. To me, living like that is survival, feels similar to being in a concentration camp; it is not a life well-lived.