My dissociation can happen anytime, mid conversation, driving, focusing on task, the middle of working....anytime.

Sometimes “airhead” fits me just fine.

My mind goes airy and the eyes go out of focus as they relax, I go into a trance like daze and my mind trails off like the head voice is walking up and away. I lose any worldly sensory connection....a mindless zombie. I’ll snap back to when I finally realize what is happening, or an Other will step up and take over.

I know this is very dangerous, but I can’t give up driving or working, but I do drive the slowest letting other cars pull ahead away from me.

I listen to music to focus on while working to stay present.

I try to not get caught up in the dazed feeling because it’s so relaxing, warm and comfy like a nest.

Other times though, like when triggered with say confrontation ....it’s an instant freeze, stare, daze, all the voices in the head chattering “what do we do or say?” Then it’s like we have to talk it out on who is going to present and the repercussions of choice made....this takes a few moments too long and then we’ll snap out of it as an Other steps up and takes over changing the course of our day.

During all these times, I lose track of time and sometimes come too someplace else other then where it began. I often am left bewildered because it’s just a total blank to be getting coffee out of bed and then to be almost to work to only discover that hours have disappeared, the bills paid, kids are sent to school, fully dressed and feeling full...