Hi,
I've been on disability because of fibromyalgia and Bipolar disorder (type I) with psychosis symptoms when in mania. I had tried to go back to school but could not continue due to the increase of my symptoms. Volunteered for a few months and crashed, so I had to interrupt. Volunteered for a few days and was in pain for 3 days after each session. I don't have much confidence anymore and I have high anxiety towards life in general. Also, it's like if I'm not interested in anything anymore. After my last hospitalisation I discovered that I was in psychosis for so many years without knowing it because I still had a contact with reality at the same time. Recently, Latuda made me come back to the ground with reality being so plain and boring and dull. I'm 49 y/o, single and not too many friends left since I stopped working.I can't consider the rest of my life being what it is. I've contemplated suicide since I was 3 y/o and my psychiatrist is aware of this. I know that it is uncommon but it is the truth. I get discouraged about the slightest obstacle and give up easily. I tried to find hobbies and it doesn't last. I feel that the rest of my life will be endless condidering my age. If i would attempt to go back to work and be part of the society, I would lose my disability benefits and would make things even worse.
* My question : Is anyone going through the same thing. If so, I would like to know, how do you cope with life and what is working for you.
Thank you.