It seemed like it was both of those scenarios with my parents. When I was a kid, they would leave me and my brother alone lots of times. Their friends and stuff were more important than us. When I was in my early 30s I came back to live with them because it was not working out when I was on my own. I was up for a good job when I came back to them. During those two years that I lived with them, they treated me like I was in Junior High School. It drove me nuts. Well, that good job possibility never happened and I moved out and never came back.

Yes, you are correct! Both types of those parents are toxic.