you sound rather familiar...sort of like myself, I have what some people describe as an "addictive personality" which means that we latch onto things readily when we have a notion that they or it will fill our "inner void". I have found a better way...instead of trying to stick a round peg into a square hole I just quit all of the "wanna-be's" and went for the "real deal" God! If there's a downside, I have'nt found it... no hangovers, no std's, no regrets, no empty feeling or need for constant re-supply (like a bottomless cup) why? because its LOVE you are after, God is love, and he loves YOU! why not let him?