I feel like a total POS, which is the last thing I needed.

I have been isolating myself for 2 months, have not spoken with anyone for that long, am scared to death of human contact, so I was actually upset that my family thought it was alright to drop by like that. My Dad is 81 but healthy, I adore him so I feel like crap.

My depression stems from over 20 years of depression, a recent hospitalization/cancer diagnosis, the end of a "relationship"/getting used by him, and multiple medical bills. I honestly want to die every single day. It has never been this bad for this long.
I want to be alone forever!