Does anyone out there have bpd comorbid with bipolar? I've heard it's relatively common, and lately I've been talking with some friends of mine who suffer from bpd and I related a little too much to them, and have been obsessing and googling everything which I know is not the best course of action. Honestly I'm just scared that it may be the case. (I don't doubt anymore that I am bipolar, like I used to. It makes a lot of sense to me as a diagnosis.) On a similar note, I've recently been seeing a guy who I really like, and who really likes me. He's very stable, and supportive of everything but honestly that just scares me more. I've never been in a healthy relationship, and honestly I'm afraid to start now. I feel kind of hopeful for the first time in a really long time, and I'm really afraid that if I lose that hope now I'm... well, I don't know. It would crush me.
Everyone in my life always tells me how strong and brave I am, but I honestly just feel so fragile. I feel like I'm constantly holding on by a thread, and that anything could set me off at this point. I also have a major history of self harm, and despite some minor things I haven't had a major relapse in a while. I really feel the need to, though, and I'm afraid that if I do I won't be able to control how bad it is.

Maybe I'm just overthinking things, and looking for reasons to be unhappy. I'm so afraid of having happiness, and stability, because it never, ever lasts. Just like manic episodes, I suppose. But the happier I feel, the worse I also feel...