If anyone can understand your present psychological health condition, it is you. All; you need the right strategies and tools. Your body communicates with you in several ways, and so does your mind. Interacting with people belonging to similar backgrounds will give you a clear picture of what exactly is going on and where you are lacking. More importantly, you will learn to look at problems from a different way.
You will eventually find out that you are not the only soul suffering from the usual worldly issues, but there are a million and more. You will get the opportunity to train your mind to scrap off negative and suicidal thoughts in a much better way, with least involvement of mental health medication.