hi sister, thanks for responding.

I like what you said about how it's not an either/or situation. I agree. I think some of what I and my T experience is more than transference/countertransference, as Bugental wrote. It is not based only on past experiences with other people. It is due to the trust and bonding that results from shared experience with my T in the here and now. I really like that. I see transference in my relationships with all people, not just my T. It's not something peculiar to therapy. I view transference as past patterns of behavior in relationships that we cannot help but bring to new relationships. But I don't feel I have much of the type of transference where people transfer a specific past relationship (mother, father, spouse, lover) onto their T. So yes, I have transference in the sense of past patterns of behavior and relating brought into the therapy room, but I also have more--the bonding and love borne of authentic shared experience. I think many of us in close relationships with our T's have that. I just can't attribute it only to transference and really like Bugental's view. It just fits for me. It is nice when we read someone and see ourselves there.

I ordered a book of Bugental's yesterday and am looking forward to getting it. If anyone is interested, here is a nice interview with him:
Bugental Interview