jewels, hi and welcome!

it sounds as though the reason it may be hitting you so hard at anniversary time is because there's alot that you didn't get closure on. you received no closure on his dianosis, etc.

it also sounds as though the marriage in itself was somewhat traumatizing for you and your daughter. have either of you received therapy in order to move on from this? if not, i would certainly feel it appropriate right now. maybe then you can move past the things that happened in the marriage and get the closure you need. a good therapist could help you to understand ex's actions better, and subsequently yours for getting divorced. i would certainly try some counseling in at attempt to move past this...it sounds as though you more than deserve it!

gl and let us know what you decide and how you're doing?

kd