Thanks sunny. I read something similar today.... on some site where I was reading

I have definitely had the feeling of T being motherly or like a mother. I think with my issues that will always be there to some degree. But I also feel a moving away from that being so dominant to a more mature relationship where trust is beginning to be built and that feels good too.

I am not at all sure about 'love'. What it is, what it feels like. That probably sounds odd to some, but that's how it is for me. Maybe when I learn to hold on to good feelings that will have a chance to happen or grow, or be recognizable.