I have an appointment to see a psychiatrist the middle of April. It's a long while since I've seen a p.doc for a scheduled appointment. I concluded some years ago that it's up to me to pull myself together . . . or not. I did therapy for years. I was tried on a dozen psych meds. I end up just taking amitriptyline, which makes a difference.

My hope in seeing this p.doc is to get some med to straighten out my sleep. I keep waking up at night. I'm exhausted for the first half of the day. I would like to try taking a stimulant in the morning. I wouldn't mind getting a benzodiazepine to take at night. I doubt I'll get both. Actually, I doubt I'll get either.

I already take hydrocodone 20 mg per day for pain. Where I go for healthcare, they don't like to give multiple controlled substances. I'm very discouraged that anything would help anyway.

I don't get any real break from caring from my s.o. I can get a few hours here and there, but that doesn't seem to help much. I get tired of this routine I'm in with him. Then I think that when he's gone, I'll feel even worse. I don't know that there's any point in going into that at this appointment. I'm not sure what I should talk about. I hate for it to be a complete waste, which I think it will be.