Are you doing individual therapy with the same therapist who is doing your marriage counseling? This often ends up being conflictual if there is a strong attachment, even if the other person knows. I'm glad your wife is supportive but have you actually told her that you think the therapist is the one you were suppose to marry, instead of her? Do you talk about this during your marriage counseling?

Idealizing one's therapist is common, I think. There is a book called, In Session, and the author talks about how therapy is kind of like always being in the dating stage of a relationship. You never get past the initial glow and move into the place where little habits bug you. Maybe your therapist is a huge slob at home...or maybe she is super picky about her food. Or maybe she never puts the cap back on the toothpaste! The problem with transference is that it is hard to work it out in any real way because the light of reality never shines on it. It stays in the shadows of the consulting room.

I think it is really OK to be attached to your therapist (I am the poster child for this) and love is very healing, especially safe love. But it can be hard on the person who is being compared to the therapist. There is an awful lot of listening and patience to live up to.