Dear ElsaMars, I've felt scared I'd never get better, but now I am better. Do you have a GOOD support system???? A psychiatrist, a therapist at the very least? Those were the two that really pulled me through, but I have a strong, supportive sister, too, who was there for me. And believe me, I was in TERRRRRRRRRRIBLE SHAPE last summer. I can't let my brother in on my pain (when it's real bad, which it isn't now) because he has major depressive disorder and MY pain brings pain TO HIM. He loves me very much, and is a great brother. I also have a very kind and patient boyfriend. I wish I had some close women friends, and am hoping to find a few. I'm joining an elders' support group this week. It's not a mental health group. I'm a little scared because I don't know what I'll be getting into. It's a peer group, with two well trained peer facilitators. The people in the group have been meeting for years, and it's a little scary walking into such a close bunch, you know what I mean? Anyway, as for wondering if you might not get better, my impression of bipolar disorder is that it is real, it is a permanent "condition" and it fluctuates. So I work hard to remember that no mood lasts forever. I'm a rapid cycler -- you? My psychiatrist suggested that my therapist and I work out some things for me to DO/try when I get real bad depressed. We came up with about ten things, and I made a chart in Microsoft Excel so I can check off which ones I try. Some of mine are: calligraphy; working algebra problems and I know this is unusual, but there are other types of puzzles to work that people do such as crosswords, jigsaws, etc? Playing my guitar and singing; going to the fitness center to work out; yoga. I'm also careful about what I eat, and don't eat junk food. Sorry to talk so much about "me" but maybe some of this will give you ideas? I'm in a good space at the moment, and you know I am sure that I've been in very bad space at times on the forum! On my chart are three pictures I found in google images/clip art: a thunderstorm; partly cloudy; and a sunny day. They are at the top of each of the pages of my chart and are pretty and make me feel hopeful just seeing that I can move from thunderstorm (severe depression) to partly cloudy (feeling slightly better) to sunny. MOST days, the chart can pull me out of a depressed mood, and I do various things to try. I don't do the same things every time.