I’ve been extremely unwell and just can’t log in sometimes. I finally logged in today, still unwell...I guess I feel obligated to support others and it’s hard when I’m unwell.

For example, right now it’s a severe mixed episode and I’d check myself into IP if I was alone. Fortunately, I’m not alone so I’m “safe” and can’t act on the severe ideations. My pdoc and therapist are on top of it, I’m doing a med change.

I’m doing slightly better today so I logged in.

Sometimes I lurk because when I’m so sick all I can do is stare at the screen...for about five minutes. And I love his forum.

I don’t know why I stay away wh n I need support the most. I know you all are supportive.