Thank you all. I think I should prepare, so I don't let this opportunity go to waste. I might not get another any time soon. I'm leery of sharing much with shrinks cause I've been burned in the past. I've been given wildly divergent diagnoses by different psychiatrists, which makes me think there isn't a lot of science driving what they come up with. A lot of the time I feel pretty okay and glad that my bf is surviving. But periodically I get like an attack of severe depression.

I'm thinking I might do well to start a sleep diary. That gives the doctor some hard data to look at. They don't really listen when you just narrate a summary of a problem.

I took Ritalin for a fairly short while a few years ago. It seemed to make me sit and ruminate, with my mind going round in circles. I felt very awake, but no more inclined to get going and accomplish anything. Also, I cared little about eating.

I have to find a way out of being sucked into a trough every morning. Maybe I will just tell the doctor how my life is. It never does help though to overload them with too much detail.

I appreciate the support, as I've become very isolated. I might sound organized, but I get myself very mixed up about a lot. Neither my s.o. nor I have any family around for thousands of miles. There's no burden sharing with his family. I haven't seen my relatives for 4 years. One of my sisters doesn't even call me anymore. At times I feel abandoned.

I will use the advice above. Right now I feel like I need to go lie down and sleep. My eyes are closing. Yet I still have to put dinner together and clean up the apartment. (We were at the VA hospital today.)

My s.o. keeps pretty regular hours. I have to stay in sync with him and his needs. I can't think further right now. Did not sleep enough.