Dear MC,
I guess we're probably terminating tomorrow. I have such mixed feelings about it. I wish the thing in December hadn't happened. I wish I was just walking away 100% on my own terms. I wish I still trusted you. I wish I still felt 100% accepted by you, no matter what. I wish I still loved you. But...December did happen. And I don't feel any of those things anymore. My sadness isn't so much about saying goodbye, but doing it on those terms. And I know you'll leave the door open. Who knows, maybe we'll come back?

I think it's not so much that I'm sad about saying goodbye to you as things stand now. I think it's more the fact that at one point, and for a fairly long time, I felt you were someone who I wanted to be in my life forever. Where I never wanted to say goodbye to you. When now...So I think it's more a mourning of that change. As opposed to the actual act of saying goodbye. It's like my heart already said goodbye 4 months ago...
LT