I'm sorry you are dealing with this. You are a wonderful person and I admire you for wanting to make things right. Not many people have the courage, strength, energy, or willpower to do that.

Have you reached out to any person in real life? You deserve help and support. A therapist could potentially help you make things right so that you DO have a second chance. I believe that everyone deserves a second chance, but sometimes we need the assistance of others to help us get that second chance.

I believe in you. I believe you can do it. You are a bright individual and you can work through this.