I tend to fall into depression when I am not exercising. Once we fall into deep depression it can be hard to get out. From my POV--we are what we do (making it harder to recover when we have physical pain disability). In a study, people with treatment resistent depression benefitted from botox because they could no longer frown as much. Others (people who were not depressed) noticed that after getting a bunch of botox--they didn't feel quite as happy because they couldn't really smile. Smiling does help.

I am grateful for the times (2016/2017) where you were encouraging to me. I want to encourage you. Are you able to walk? Stop buying junk food? Get out in the sun? (California has wonderful weather) Don't give up. You stopped posting for months. We missed you. It does not surprise me that your family forgives you--you are a very caring person!!!!

More ideas:

https://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_acho..._work#t-657754

Shawn Achor's 6 exercises for happiness | CBC News

Scientifically, happiness is a choice," Achor says. He explains that research has shown you can rewire your brain to make yourself happy by practising simple happiness exercises every day for three weeks.

Texas-born Achor's books include The Happiness Advantage and Before Happiness.

Achor says in just 21 days, the exercises can transform a pessimist into an optimist.

Shawn Achor, author of The Happiness Advantage, says you can rewire your brain to make yourself happy by practising simple happiness exercises. (CBC)
And within 30 days, those habits change the neuropathways of our brains and turn us into lifelong optimists.

These six daily happiness exercises are proven to make anyone, from a 4-year old to an 84-year old, happy, or simply happier, Achor says.

Gratitude Exercises. Write down three things you're grateful for that occurred over the last 24 hours. They don't have to be profound. It could be a really good cup of coffee or the warmth of a sunny day.
The Doubler. Take one positive experience from the past 24 hours and spend two minutes writing down every detail about that experience. As you remember it, your brain labels it as meaningful and deepens the imprint.
The Fun Fifteen. Do 15 minutes of a fun cardio activity, like gardening or walking the dog, every day. The effects of daily cardio can be as effective as taking an antidepressant.
Meditation. Every day take two minutes to stop whatever you're doing and concentrate on breathing. Even a short mindful break can result in a calmer, happier you.
Conscious act of kindness. At the start of every day, send a short email or text praising someone you know. Our brains become addicted to feeling good by making others feel good.
Deepen Social Connections. Spend time with family and friends. Our social connections are one of the best predictors for success and health, and even life expectancy.