Quote:
Originally Posted by *Laurie*
Just this year, at age 55, I have come to accept that I truly am mentally ill. The mental illness, for good and bad, has defined my life in many, many ways. Being on medication definitely causes me to be disabled. Sick?....technically, I suppose that is the word. And just to throw it out there, I don't equate "sick" with "wanting pity" at all. I think that's a stigma.
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You’re so
young!
Yeah. Disorder, illness, sick. I used to be amazed that I began sliding into first base at eighteen. I spent a lot that year. That was the year that I came into control of my inheritance. I remember the juice of buying things for friends, buying all that I wanted (and I wanted a lot). I also successfully completed my sophomore year during 18-19. I don’t remember how. I put my money into tax-free bonds @ 15% per annum. By 1999, I had spent the remaining principal.
What b**chin’ decades had passed.
When I filed for disability I included all of my contemporaneous medical records. When I was awarded SSDI, I had to ask exactly why — mental illnesses or heart diseases? Mental crap.
Today? Probably more disabled by physical limitations, maybe. Oh, I’m mental as hell, but not like back then, not even as bad as two years ago! Thinking that I have some control over my mental state might be the part of delusion that I live by.
I think that I know what you mean about wanting pity. I’ve always believed that those seeking pity have already begun the fall into self-pity. I think that support doesn’t always mean agreeing with other’s posts. I get in trouble for that view —a lot. I’m not allowed to use certain words. Certainly not allowed to disagree with others! Disagreement is not supportive.
And, still, I post; knowing that most of my posts will not see day, I post.
Yes, I am sick.