Fear is understandable. It is good to admit you are feeling it and talking about it. How old were you when you married your husband?

My husband sometimes tells me--you have always been taken care of--you could never handle being by yourself! Then I wonder if he is right. My dad took care of me financially (but I lived 5 hours from home for the 4 years in college) until I began active duty in the military. Being in the military felt a little bit like having a parent to take care of you--my ROTC Commander became the Base Commander (he became a general after completing that assignment) the same summer I was commissioned then he was in my chain of command until I moved overseas due to marrying my husband. So I have always felt taken care of by a man. It continued at the overseas assignment, when I felt like my supervisor was not looking out for me, I became the executive officer for someone who did (he also was high ranking). My husband does a lot for me. I would have a lot more to worry about without him.

When you divorce, I think you have to try to think less emotionally and more analytically about it. You really have to evaluate what you need to do to be able to survive without your H. From the background you provided in previous posts--you may not be able to support your brother while divorced. If your brother is a standup guy--he would understand this and try to find a job (or qualify for disability if he is unable) in order to help (be a roommate paying 50 percent of the cost of rent/electricity/etc instead of totally dependant). If your brother isn't like this then you may need to divorce both your brother and H in order to survive. Sometimes we do not make the hard choices that must be made until something forces us.....