Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopingtrying
Fear is understandable. It is good to admit you are feeling it and talking about it. How old were you when you married your husband?
My husband sometimes tells me--you have always been taken care of--you could never handle being by yourself! Then I wonder if he is right.  My dad took care of me financially (but I lived 5 hours from home for the 4 years in college) until I began active duty in the military. Being in the military felt a little bit like having a parent to take care of you--my ROTC Commander became the Base Commander (he became a general after completing that assignment) the same summer I was commissioned then he was in my chain of command until I moved overseas due to marrying my husband. So I have always felt taken care of by a man. It continued at the overseas assignment, when I felt like my supervisor was not looking out for me, I became the executive officer for someone who did (he also was high ranking). My husband does a lot for me. I would have a lot more to worry about without him.
When you divorce, I think you have to try to think less emotionally and more analytically about it. You really have to evaluate what you need to do to be able to survive without your H. From the background you provided in previous posts--you may not be able to support your brother while divorced. If your brother is a standup guy--he would understand this and try to find a job (or qualify for disability if he is unable) in order to help (be a roommate paying 50 percent of the cost of rent/electricity/etc instead of totally dependant). If your brother isn't like this then you may need to divorce both your brother and H in order to survive. Sometimes we do not make the hard choices that must be made until something forces us.....  |
Thank you, my brother is on SSID, and suplametal from hos deseased wife, but he only gets about 700, and gives me 200, twards food, that isn't enough. But while my H was away we hardly spent much at all. My H is the one who eats us out of house, and home bc of all the special stuff he has to have, not to mention all the building suplys, and most of that comes out of my check. There isn't any way i can take care of all of this, and his mom too; She doesn't follow any rules, and dislikes everything from the tv program we may be watching, to what ever is fixed to eat. All she wants is to eat sweets, don't get up in till around 11 am, is a total nut job, she is 80. my H bought her a beautiful HHR 2 years ago, and there isn't any spot on it that doesn't have a dent, and in 2 years she has put over 50 thousand miles on it from then, she also is very noisy, so i have to put up all of my things so she don't use them, or pictures take them. I have 3 rooms to clear out. She is also in the rest room all the time, and we go through a whole roll of tissue a day with her, and she stopped up the comode almost on a daily basis. When she uses the restroom she sprays anything that is spraies in the camode, and I will have to get a lock for my bedroom, bc she want's to know all that I have. My brother isn't like that, at least i know where he will be, on the couch, drinking his beer. He is also going to have to put a lock on his door. Also when she does dishes, they are always still dirty, and greasy. It is all just so much, and my H will let her do what she wants. So yes, i will have to find a place for her that both my H, and his mom will like, but she never likes anything, and i will have to find a place for my brother. So i will have more than is fair on my plate for awhile.