Quote:
Originally Posted by justafriend306
There are obviously two issues here; his sobriety, and his relationships.
What is happening with his girlfriend is abusive. What is the nature of your own relationship with her? Are you good friends? Are you able to discuss this with her? A good way to initiate a conversation is with the "I have noticed that..." What do others around her say and feel? Is it possible to hold an intervention for her, demanding she get her own help for herself? You might encourage her to attend an AlAnon meeting.
As for your friend, he may need an intervention himself. Perhaps though you can start with smaller steps. Offer to attend an AA or NA meeting with him. As for AlAnon meetings, I recommend you attend one yourself. They can offer up encouragement and resources for how to deal with such matters - and not forget yourself in the process. [While AlAnon is for family and friends of alcoholics many groups welcome those people whose lies are affected any addicted loved ones]
|
Thank you for your reply. As far as my relationship with his girlfriend, I've known her for a little over a year. I would not classify her as being in my circle of friends, yet, I have discussed this situation with her at length. At first, in my own head, it was so cut and dry- you don't allow anyone to speak to you in that manor-but, after giving it some thought and remembering what it was like to be in my 30's and in love, I realized it isn't so easy to just walk away.
So, I have been trying to ask her- you absolutely need to set boundaries and those boundaries need to have consequences. And you need to be willing to enforce the consequences, because if you don't, this is going to continue. I will ask if this is the way she wants to live? Ill ask her if she wants her young daughter to think its ok for a man to treat her like this. Hopefully, that sets in.
I have offered to go to meetings with him, and her. She says yes, but, we never actually seem to get to a meeting.
He wants to go with her.
If he uses again, which he most likely will, then I will try to arrange an intervention.
Once again, thank you for the advice.