I can see why you say what you say Perna.Although she did not respond to the Christmas card,she had sent me a birthday card months after breaking contact.As I said,even when things were good between us,she left it to me to make the effort most of the time but said she was glad when I did. She is ill and people who are ill don't always behave rationally.I've read many things about people who have mental illness shutting themselves off from other people/friends/family-not necessarily because this is what they want-they actually want friendship and so on,but because they feel they can't cope or are ashamed or feel guilty about how they've behaved towards others in the past.

Of course I can't "make" someone be friends with me-I suspect many people wouldn't have made the efforts I made when we were becoming friends in the first place-most people would just have given up because it really wasn't easy.If someone is ill,I think we should take that into account.It's also something I need to do for myself but realise it may very well not work out so just am looking for support,help.guidance in my decision even though people might think I'm mad!! I do have other friends too,it's just that I don't post about them so much as there aren't the same issues!