I spoke about the time I overdosed and the woman use said I sounded a bit "flat". I said that even one of my friend said I spoke in monotone.
I started to touch on how I feel like a quitter. I hear my parents saying that I have no commitment and can't hack it when the hest gets too hot in the kitchen.
I started night classes at community college because I felt like my brain and entire being was turning to dust. The conditions were terrible. There wasn't windows or adequate ventilation and It wasn't doing my helth any favours. I even got a chest infection and I was a healthy 21 year old who jogged in spare time.
I was stuck out the back even though I said that i would like a turn out the front. I had one person to talk too. At home my life was entwined with my fiance .
I was fine with the writing aspect of my course but the real life work experience was nerve wracking and I even shook while I gave my first talk. The assistant teacher said my talk was great.
As the course progressed I still played it safe and in one session the teacher must have thought I needed a little push (tough encouragement ) and said that unless I varied the tone in my voice I may not be able to carry on with it. In my notes she wrote what I said was valid but I did not express it adequately so a client would not take it on board.
I told my boyfriend and he said you always get kicked off of everything. Good thing you have me to look after you.
So in the next session. I spoke up and I passed. I talked about my up bringing and time at school and I think I made a classmate rethink her opinion of me.
I concentrated too hard on writing. But in real life work is a bout communication as well and building rapport and relationships. I said in one of my pieces that I got criticised at work for putting my head down and getting on with just the work and keeping my nose clean. I thought i was just avoiding drama. I had enough drama at home.
I think this is why many people dropped out of the course in the early stages because it was not what they expected. It was such a hands on and get involved. So i was overwhelmed too. One girl was in tears in second week as she had chosen wrong course.
But if a person stays in their comfort zone, they will never discover what they can achieve.