I did not debate with my last therapist. Or rather my therapist did not debate with me. I tried to contrast our points of view. I asked for feedback from her about how I came across to her. She would/did not give any. I am wondering if "feedback" to her had an element of feeling value, and judgmentalism, that it doesn't necessarily for me.

I've also asked for feedback here on PC. And went to a couple of therapists asking for a "therapy" or something where they could give me feedback. They were mystified and clueless.

Feedback is different from criticism. It's saying "what you just said affects me like this" or something like that. Clear definition and "boundary" between one person and another. Doesn't imply, or minimizes the implication of, a value of either person.

I feel like I have needed that -- the bumping up against another human being -- in order to understand better who I am, as well as them. Sure, if the "bumping up" is too hard, it can hurt. So, for me, some experience with that in a "safe place" where I was not judged too harshly but nevertheless given feedback information, would have been a big help, I think.