I relate to all the above. I am about to give up. I don't know exactly what that means or what that would look like, but I can't even cry any more. I read these forums and only respond to those I just can't get past for whatever reason, then it is so easy to be misunderstood, up means down, down means behind you...I feel like I'm in quick sand and I don't dare move, don't dare care, don't dare try to save myself, and least of all don't dare try to help anyone else. I want the dark and the silence behind a locked door.