Some men assume I'm a lesbian. Not all men assume I'm a lesbian. The same logic holds true for your situation. Just because some people assume, doesn't mean all people assume. Some men also assume that, because I'm chubby, I'm unhealthy. Not all men assume that. The point is that, if you're not the thing people think you are, and you're living your life the way you wish to live, you cannot change other people's assumptions. It isn't you; it's them. I understand this is causing distress, but you live for other people, you're going to be very unhappy as well.

I'm really sorry that some people vocally assume things and that it's causing distress, but it's turning into a bigger thing in your mind than it should be, I believe.

Incidentally, I worked with a PA who, I would have bet money from day one, was gay. I mean, it was so stinking obvious. Patients call him derogatory slurs (this was the ER; we all got called names by patients), and he just laughed it off, because he knows how he comes off. He is not; he's married with two cute little babies. There's not much he can do to change how we perceive him, and he lives his life the way he wants to. Obvs his wife likes him, so.

But I would bet you don't come off the same way...that was just an anecdote.