The ptsd rollercoaster is exhausting. Please find it I yourself to find a psychiatrist who can help you. I would not be here to write this if it weren't for him. My treatment has been a true collaboration over 15 years. I had a depression that got triggered off every time my ptsd got activated, so two severe problems at one time all the time with countless psych admissions. At least three or four a year. I now can't remember the last time I was in the hospital and I don't expect that will happen anymore. I still see him every three months the and we are now cutting down on medication significantly.

I know it's hard but find someone you can connect with who is willing to collaborate. I trust my doc but that does not mean that I blindly do what he says. I question, ask for his rationale for his ideas and we come to an agreement together. He also listens to my ideas and asks for my rationale; a real two way street. Please try your best. Life can get better. I am living proof. Still to this day my family who is close and supportive in many other ways just don't get tbis. I share almost nothing g about my ptsd and depression because it was like having my head on a wall. I don't fault them. I do tell my husband when I get "crazy head"( my term), but I
am now feeling safe and no need to go inpatient and my doc trusts that.

The roller coaster ride are so much shorter now and much less frightening.
You can do this. Please feel free to pm me if it helps.