Also, your whole thing about being "proud of me..." that just sort of confirms the paternal countertransference, doesn't it? Or maybe that's just what therapists say at the end. I delusionally wish that at some point, you would have been like, "Yeah, you triggered some countertransference in me. I started caring too much. I got too close to you. For a bit there, you were more than just some random patient to me. And I even kind of loved you on some level (platonically of course)." But you'd never admit that. Even if it's true...
LT