My Support Forums - View Single Post

Apr 06, 2018, 11:14 AM

I didn't feel like it was a good session. I dissociated through most of it. He had me sit in discomfort a bit, as another part of what we're working on is building up my window of tolerance toward uncomfortable feelings.

He said I was doing a good job, even if I didn't feel like it. I said that it didn't matter what I was doing it felt like, he'd praise me anyway. He said, "well, you walk in the door every week. That's more than most people can do. Plus, you're really good at looking past surface level issues. That's something that can take people months or years. So yes, you're doing a good job."

I continued to feel like I was wasting my session. He said I wasn't, but what if I was? Made me think of RoboT. Told him about that, and he thanked me for sharing. He doesn't comment much when I bring up RoboT.

Possible trigger:

Told him about yesterday at the beginning of session. He asked toward the end when the last time I'd hurt myself. I hedged a moment before I told him I'd SHed yesterday. He asked what barriers I had to using the plan we'd worked on. I told him it's easier to use known tools versus something new. Even though it never really makes me feel better when I SH.

He said at one point that I seem good at mentally distracting myself. I said that 85% of the time I just think of cute animals. He said he loves watching YouTube videos of cute animals and asked if I'd seen videos of Fiona the Hippo. She's so precious.

I stayed a few minutes extra to ground; he was mildly concerned that I'd leave and not be okay. I'm not great but I'm okay.