There isn't much I can say, other than some people, unfortunately, just can't be helped. I have an online friend who recently had a bad breakup, and I did my best to help him with the dark feelings he was having about not wanting to be here anymore. He said that I saved his life, but at the end of the day I know that if he made a final decision there isn't anything I can do. All we can really do is continue to tell someone how much we care and support them the best way we know how. At least then, someone was still telling them that they're loved and cared for.

I am so sorry that you went through this though and that you are feeling guilt. This is the same cliche thing that everyone will tell you, but it's true: This was not your fault. This was a decision made that was out of your control, and even if you had been logged on that day and even if it did somehow make a difference, it could have happened at any time. There is only so much we can do, sadly.