I have been disorientated for a few days and it is starting to affect my mental health quite badly I am deteriorating and feeling shaky and emotionally unstable, lots of fear and insecurity and nervous energy,a feeling that I am not safe,that my life is threatened and my emotional safety is compromised.

I saw a show,a couple of shows at the theatre that triggered memories and flashbacks and emotions from events that happened in my past.Bullying from when I tried to study at university aged 24,abuse from my narcissist sister when I had a psychosis at uni and had to come home,I was trapped at first in a house with her and when I got my own place she sabotaged my freedom to make me dependent on the family and make me look after my mum who needed looking after.

She lied,abused,confused brainwashed me with mind games and I was in a toxic environment with her,she was making me go into psychosis and planned it so I would always break down and end up in hospital,so eventually her plan was for me to commit suicide.Her motive she hated me and wanted to inherit my share of mum's estate when mum died and also my niece would get my house.I had a psychosis due to this about 8 times in 30 years.It took me that long to realise she was deliberately hurting me and that she was a narcissist.

I have had to text talk with her over my mum needing care while narc was in hospital for an op.This is the second time last time I had to talk to her over mum having cancer.I hate it cos she acts like nothing bad happened and she has done nothing wrong.She even tells me she worries about me and to take care like she did when she was abusing me all those years.I won't escape her till mum dies.But I won't talk to her unless I have to and I won't go into a room with her in it or a building or talk to her cos it is clear to me she means me harm and is my worst enemy.