Quote:
Originally Posted by monalisasmile
This ^!!!!!
I often feel as though t rejects my reality and often tries to push her version of reality onto me.
We often debate certain topics- the most recent being whether evil exists in the world. If people are born evil or whether they adapt to their environment. T started going on about choices and how people chose to be evil and how I chose to see the evil rather than the beauty.
That really annoyed me and I said excuse me, I have a balanced view on life, it’s not just a black and white view. Some people who have done evil things can be really beautiful too, it’s not just that easy and who are we to judge who is evil. See t is a very catholic woman and sometimes, well a lot of the time we don’t see eye to eye on things, like the upcoming abortion referendum and repeal the 8th amendment.
I like a good debate but t often pushes her view and rejects mine.
|
When I read this, in the context of this thread, it struck me that it's as if she doesn't realize you
have you own different reality.
Since I have had problems with identity and sense of self, authentic ego, etc., I can relate to being caught up in my own reality, or sometimes taking on somebody else's. Of course consciously and intellectually it was not like that. But emotionally and interpersonally? It's very hard to describe -- several years ago, when I think an authentic ego was finally beginning to develop, I experienced something like a transparent bubble around me. I could "see" the shimmery "skin" of the bubble, and realized that other people have that, too, with their own reality inside. But before -- I didn't, even though of course I intellectually knew they were people with their own independent existence.
Given the trouble you have had with this T, I thought this observation might help confirm what you have suspected about her, that her ability to really care about you is compromised. She, like perhaps I did and maybe sometimes still do, does not, cannot understand that you really have a different reality in you.
I now work consciously on trying to keep awareness of the separateness of people in mind. But before I developed enough and had that "bubble" experience I would not have been able to, no matter how much I tried.