Strange question, now that I type it out. I've never really discussed this except with my ex-husband when we first started dating and having sex. We were 19 then.

When I was 10, my family moved to a bigger house, and along with that sent me and my younger sister to private school. The classes were "split"- with two grades each. We were each in the younger grade. This isn't really about my sister- but she did find out eventually.

In the older grade of my class was a boy who, besides being 13 and in 6th grade, wasn't too bright, either. That is, I don't think he was merely "left back" a grade. At some point, he started writing me notes saying things like "Meet me outside at 2nd recess in the woods."

I don't remember why or what I was thinking, but I took him up on his "invite", and for three years, we would sneak off to the woods and having "clothes sex". I didn't know what it was then. I kind of figured out after a while that it had to do with sex. I remember it feeling good, which confused me. I specifically remember having an orgasm. Mostly, though, I felt smothered and held down disassociated.

Now that I write that, just the other day, I got very upset at my boyfriend of 2 years (I'm 35 and he's 48) for pretending to hold me down. Same thing happened with a short-dating "boyfriend" of mine 3 years ago.

Eventually, it all ended when we heard our names being called by one of the teachers, while we were walking back out of the woods. I was embarrassed. His parents were called and I got a talking-to by our teacher in the classroom- alone. Talk about humiliation! The teacher told me "I don't want you to ever do that again until you're grown up and married."

But before that happened, my mom and dad had "the talk" with me and my sister. I was about 12 and hadn't had a period yet. I showed her the "notes". She asked if he ever "put it in". I said he hadn't. That was the end of that. However, between then and when this all ended, a year went by and I HAD started having periods. Because my mom told me that I WOULD get pregnant after I'd started having periods, I worried when I was "irregular"! Ugh.

To top it off, all the kids in the school seemed to know- even before the teachers found out. In fact, now that I think of it, one of my classmates must've told. Before that, though, I got mercilessly teased, as did he.

Was this sexual abuse, do you think since we were both kids? We were 10 & 13 through 13 & 16.