This was not an easy thread to post. When I was thinking about posting this thread I felt extremely uncomfortable. But I guess my sense of curiosity and desire for knowledge overwhelmed me. There is so much I could say, but in the interests of keeping it concise and so that I do not type up my life story, I will keep it brief.

In short, I want to know if there is something wrong with me. I am a straight male. I sometimes experience sexual arousal from being humiliated by women, particularly women of authority. I ask that you do not judge me because the things I reveal in this thread I would never say to anyone, including any psychologist or counsellor - I simply do not trust them.

To be clear, I have no criminal record and currently work a white-collar office job. A lot of people see me as quite normal.

1. The earliest experience I can think of is when I was a teenager. I remember that my parents called the police for a general noise disturbance issue (nothing bad) - and some police officers attended our house. My father had hit me, but it was nothing serious. I didn't suffer any permanent damage or anything. So I called the police. (Please note that I do not have any grudge towards my parents now). One of them was a female police officer and was extremely abusive to me. I explained that my father had hit me. She called me a liar and it made me really upset and humiliated and angry, but I knew there was nothing I could do. She was a police officer, so I sucked it up and sobbed. That night when I went to sleep I felt a strange sensation, almost a change in my mind. I somehow found that experience quite arousing, although at the time I wasn't acutely aware of it. I just knew that there was something about that shocking and traumatic experience that transformed itself into something more pleasurable, something my mind could more easily process - as if I was somehow blocking out the trauma.

2. There was another experience when the police were called to our house, again for similar reasons. No offences were committed or anything - just a general disturbance. One of the police officers was also a female. I was quite upset at the time and was quite angry. She came up to me and sat on my bed and talked to me. She was extremely nice. She asked if I go to school... and then if had a girlfriend yet. She was extremely kind. I remember the word "yet" -- maybe she found me attractive. I was maybe a teenager at the time. I said no. I think that she called me handsome or something, and she was rather affectionate. At the time I felt nothing of it. It meant nothing to me. But whenever I think back of that memory it always makes me appreciate that back then perhaps I wasn't that bad looking. That feeling of affection from a woman was really lovely. And she wasn't that bad-looking either.

3. I often have strange feelings when I see female police officers. I often feel aroused by them and fantasise about being subjected to humilating and grading strip searches by them (and have it filmed by other women who laugh at me). I am not sure what kind of fetish this is, but it really turns me on, the idea of being totally humiliated and destroyed, to be put in a vulnerable position where I am exposed.

Is there anything wrong with me?