Quote:
Originally Posted by Shazerac
It really comes down to whether or not kids is a deal breaker for you. You need to do some serious soul searching on this. It would not be fair to your boyfriend to build a life together while secretly hoping he will “change his mind someday.”
The thing is that a couple can compromise between 2 or 3 children. But there is no compromise between 0 and 1.
Many decades ago I ended up divorcing my husband because he kept pressuring me to have a baby. I had married with the express intention that I was NOT going to have more children. This was my second marriage. I had kids he didn’t.
He eventually remarried and has 2 adorable daughters. He’s happy and I’m happy for him. But I’m really glad I stood my ground.
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Thanks for the reply.
I agree with you completely. If I decide to marry him that means I have accepted that I will absolutely never have children.
As someone who has at least another decade of good childbearing age left it is hard to make that decision now, but he wants a decision now.
I want to soul search more and see what it truly is about having kids that I am so drawn to. I think it is partially to curb the loneliness and feel fulfilled. To fulfill this idea of a family I have in my head, and because i just have that strong inner pull. I'm not sure if those are good enough reasons to give up something I have right in front of me.