Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
.
I do not think they meant that abused people caused abuse but maybe rather that abusers sometimes claim they are being abused when really it’s not what happens. Not every person screaming abuse is actually abused, they often are the abusers. I bet we all know examples
I am sure it was not about you at all
|
I agree many abusers claim they are the abused.
I also think that on the other side of this, sometimes we ALLOW others to abuse us, when we ignore red flags from them that basically tell us they will abuse us. So we become complicit in our own abuse. There will always be bad people in the world, it is OUR responsibility to care for ourselves enough to say "I see this red flag, and I will not ENABLE someone to hurt me."
So sometimes we do ENABLE people to abuse us. It's a huge component of co-dependency. So I think it's really important to say, if all the guys I'm dating are being abusive, what am I doing wrong in picking these guys? How can I avoid men like this by being savvy to their patterns?
It's not about blaming but taking responsibility.
I am glad you are recognizing red flags and giving them weight now.
Seesaw