I've just become okay accepting that I do not want children. As expressed already, being around a child for too long makes me feel incredibly anxious.

When I was with my last long-term relationship, I wanted to have kids. But I did out of unhealthy reasons, mainly to make my ex happy. This was in spite of the fact that he didn't always treat me well. I have a tendency to conform to whatever the other person wants just so they can stay. He wanted a big family. Okay, so did I, although it was obvious that I wasn't comfortable around children at all. Imagine if I'd gotten pregnant, UGH!

I like my life without children. Plus Ive spent most of my twenties consumed by symptoms of mental illness. It's only been about 7 months since I realized something was terribly wrong with me and I needed help. I feel like a newborn baby myself lol so having a child anytime soon would just feel wrong.

If my partner wanted to have children, then I personally don't know if it would work out. I wouldn't want them to feel like they're missing out on something they really want. I'd like to think we could be friends. I'd be supportive of their choice and I'd want them to feel the same for me. I just enjoy my freedom and I am developing this new relationship I have with myself. I'd like to share that with someone eventually, but I don't want to share it with children.

With all this being said, if you really want to be a mother and you're prepared to make space and time and have the resources to be a mom, you should totally do it. And you should do it with someone who wants the same thing and sees you as a partner in that unified goal.